The Easter What?
by Prisoner Len
Summary: Sephiroth has never heard of this so-called Easter. Maybe Zack and Cloud can explain it to him. CxS, AxZ mentioned. Happy Easter!


Holidays were something Sephiroth found himself completely incapable of understanding. Halloween? An excuse for SOLDIERs to dress up and look like utter morons while getting cavities. Christmas? A holiday celebrating a fat man breaking into people's houses. Valentine's day? A holiday that gave people an excuse to hate their significant other if they forgot a gift. Zack was usually his form of learning, when it came to a new holiday he was unaware of; Hojo was very keen on him not knowing of the days people celebrated, for a reason he was still rather unsure of. The hyperactive puppy would fly into the General's office anytime from a week before, to a day before the nearest holiday, and go off on a rant about how completely _awesome_ it was, and how Sephiroth should _totally_ celebrate.

In the General's defense, he did attempt to celebrate—twice, in fact. The first holiday had been Halloween. He allowed himself to be dragged to a party. That was possibly his biggest mistake of the year. He stumbled into a rather uncomfortably crowded SOLDIER apartment after Zack,—who was dressed like Gods-knew-_what_—only to come face to face with Angeal… who proceeded to scoop the raven-haired teen up, and kiss him on the lips. Did he know the two were close? Yes—but not that close.

The second holiday was Christmas. He celebrated it with Zack and Angeal (Genesis had left for a mission the week prior) in Angeal's apartment.

He quickly learned that trying to kill the fat man who stormed into Angeal's apartment in the middle of the night was a bad idea—especially when it turned out to be Angeal himself, "spreading the holiday cheer".

Now, as Zack paced back and forth in front of his desk, with a rather grumpy looking blonde cadet standing behind him, he was almost positive he wanted nothing to do with this holiday.

"An Easter… _what_?" he questioned skeptically, arching a silver eyebrow high.

Zack heaved an over-exaggerated sigh, throwing his arms up and then slamming his face down into his palm. The cadet behind him edged closer to the door, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt and throwing unsure, nervous glances towards the General. The SOLDIER gestured his hands wildly, holding hands up over his head like rabbit ears. "Easter _bunny_, Seph. The Easter bunny! C'mon, don't tell me you've never celebrated Easter!"

Sephiroth watched the small cadet, slightly bemused. The second eyebrow joined the first, and he slowly shook his head, setting his pen gently down on the paperwork he was _supposed_ to be doing. "I assure you, I have not."

"Well, haven't you ever had a chocolate egg? Or a jelly bean—Cloud, where are you going?" Zack latched onto the cadet's arm before he had a chance to flee the office.

Now the General was positive that Zack was pulling a joke on him. He narrowed his eyes slightly, picking his pen back up. "Zackary, eggs are not made of chocolate, and beans are _definitely_ not made of jelly."

A sudden giggle burst from the blonde, and he clamped his hands over his mouth, ridiculously wide blue eyes watching Sephiroth's reaction fearfully. Fortunately, Zack's loud guffaws distracted the silver-haired man, and he watched as his best friend nearly collapsed to the floor.

Finally, the SOLDIER calmed his laughter and wiped his eyes. "They're types of _candy_, Seph!"

Sephiroth looked completely baffled. He twisted his mouth into a deep frown, and once again placed his pen on the desk. "They coat eggs in chocolate? That sounds absolutely disgusting."

Cloud swallowed hard and took a very small step forward, reaching into his pocket. He withdrew it and took another step towards the desk, holding out a brightly wrapped egg-shaped object. Shaking, he placed it on the polished wooden surface, and practically ran back to his spot by the door. Zack raised an eyebrow, and they both watched as Sephiroth picked the egg up and examined it. He tilted his head slightly to the side, turning the small treat and reading the label on it.

After a moment of silence, he lifted his gaze to Zack, confused. "What is a 'Cadbury'?"

Zack opened his mouth to reply, but was cut off by an obnoxiously loud tune—his PHS. He dove his hand into one pants pocket, then the other, and pulled it out, flipping it open and pushing it to his ear. "Zack Fair… Hey 'Geal! Nah, I'm not doing anything right now." Cloud glared at him, and Sephiroth cocked an eyebrow. "Sure, I'll be right over!"

He flipped the phone closed and slipped it back into his pocket, turning to Cloud. "I'll leave it to you, Spikey." He said cheerfully, clapping the cadet on the shoulder and striding out of the office.

"But Zack—"

The door slammed shut. For a long minute, Cloud stared, eyes wide, and Sephiroth stared right back, still holding the egg in his hand. Finally, Sephiroth raised the other hand and pointed a long, slender finger towards the egg. "What is a 'Cadbury', cadet?"

Cloud drew into a hasty salute, nervously shaking his weight. He had a crush on the General, and Zack ditches and leaves him to explain _Easter candy_? '_You're going to die in your sleep, Zack. So help me…_' "S-Sir! A Cadbury egg is a chocolate egg filled with caramel or crème."

"At ease—Cloud, was it?" Sephiroth replied, picking at the foil covering the candy.

Cloud slowly relaxed to a less stiff posture, chewing on his lower lip. "Y-Yes, sir."

"Sephiroth."

"Huh?"

"My name." Sephiroth explained, as though it _wasn't_ the most well-known fact in the world. He gestured towards the egg that was now half-wrapped. "It is edible?"

The blonde bobbed his head in a quick nod, taking a few steps forward and pulling another egg from his pocket. He offered it, eyes wide. "U-Um, I have a crème one if you would prefer, si—Sephiroth."

"What is this one?"

"Caramel."

After examining the egg once more, the silver-haired SOLDIER leaned forward and took a small bite of it. Cloud blinked, and set the crème egg down on the desk, shifting his weight between feet. His gaze darted from the desk surface, to the black leather couch against the wall, then to the door—anywhere but at the General.

And then it dawned on Sephiroth that he was eating a chocolate _egg_. He gaped at the gooey caramel within the chocolate casing. "Cloud!" he exclaimed, waving the candy around wildly.

The cadet cocked an eyebrow at the antics of his General. "Yes, sir?"

"What about—," the silver-haired started. He paused and glanced around the office, then shielded his mouth with his hand, whispering the rest of the question. "—the baby chicken?"

Cloud stared. And stared. His expression completely blank, he just _stared_ at his hero. '_What about the __**baby chicken**__?_' He felt laughter bubbling up his throat, and started to panic, quickly clamping a hand over his mouth and coughing. When that didn't succeed, he burst into a fit of giggles, much to the bewilderment of the General. "The—There aren't any chicks in candy eggs!" Cloud cried, clutching his side and trying to breathe while still laughing.

A deep frown cross the sharp features of Sephiroth's face, and he glared skeptically at the egg. Then, with a shrug, he took another bite out of it and picked up his pen, signing the paperwork before him, and nibbling on the egg occasionally. Cloud's laughter eventually died down, and he glanced at the door, then back at the General, unsure of whether he should leave or not. The pen returned to the desk, and Sephiroth frowned at his empty hands, then turned sharp green eyes on the blonde inching towards the door. "Cadet."

Cloud winced and whirled around, snapping into a salute on instinct. "Sir!"

"Do you have anymore of those?" Sephiroth inquired, looking very much like an excited child on Christmas morning.

"Um…" the blonde cocked his head, pondering the question, then nodded. "Zack has some in his apar—"

The silver-haired SOLDIER bounded out of the office, dragging Cloud along behind him, at a pace the poor blonde struggled to keep up with.

* * *

><p>"Sir, I-I don't have Zack's keycard." Cloud explained, as Sephiroth stared at him expectantly, arms crossed. They were standing in front of Zack's empty apartment's door, Cloud looking around nervously (he wasn't even supposed to be there without Zack!), and Sephiroth looking very, <em>very<em> impatient.

The General turned on his heel, fishing a keycard out of his own pocket as he went. He stomped down the hall, frown on face, with the small cadet stumbling after him, and paused only for the briefest of moments a few doors down to drag the card through the slot. He slammed open the door, and a rather feminine shriek echoed down the hall. Was that—

"Zackary, give me your keycard." Sephroth demanded, stalking into the apartment.

"Seph, what the _hell_!" came Zack's shocked reply.

Cloud peeked around the corner of the doorway, and was pretty sure his jaw hit the floor. Zack was naked. And straddling Angeal. And—and—oh gods. He felt nauseaous. Sephiroth turned and looked at him, brow furrowed in thought and head cocked to the side, then he turned back to Zack and glared.

"You are corrupting Cloud."

"I—we're—_what_? You barged in here!" Zack exploded, climbing off of Angeal, who tossed Cloud an apologetic grin.

Cloud, however, was almost positive he was going to faint. Face as red as a tomato, he whirled around and took off down the hall. He frantically slammed his finger into the down button on the elevator over and over, and waited, blushing furiously and staring at the floor.

Back in the room, Sephiroth pinned Zack with his most murderous gaze. "You scared him away."

Zack slammed his face down into his palm and groaned in frustration. "Well, maybe if you had _knocked_—"

"Maybe if you weren't _naked_—" Sephiroth retorted crossly.

"Why do you even care?" Zack snapped. He gestured wildly at the empty doorway. "He's _my_ best friend, not yours!"

Cat-like green eyes widened, and Sephiroth opened and closed his hands slowly. Angeal watched him, and a grin spread across his features. "Well, go get him, Seph." He laughed.

The other two other occupants of the room jerked their heads around, and gave a startled, "What?" in unison.

Angeal eased himself into a sitting position, grabbing Zack by the waist and dragging him back on the couch, covering his bare lap with a blanket. "If you like him, go after him before you lose him."

Sephiroth crossed his arms and looked away, muttering a grumpy, "I do _not_ like him. He was going to get me more of those eggs."

"Yeah?" Angeal questioned, smirking.

Green eyes narrowed into a glare. "He is not of age—"

"He turned 18 in August." Zack piped up, holding out his keycard with a wide grin, waving it back and forth. Cloud would definitely have to forgive him if he set him up with Sephiroth, right? "His bunk's in the back corner of the barracks." He continued in a singsong voice.

Without a moment of hesitation, the card was snatched from his grip, and the silver-haired man took off down the hall, slamming the door behind him. Zack turned to Angeal, bouncing slightly on the couch and grinning like a madman. "Now, where were we?"

* * *

><p>Cloud was positive he would never get the image of Zack's naked ass out of his mind. He flopped down on his bunk and rolled onto his stomach, reaching over the edge of his bed for the book he had been reading. He propped it up on his pillow and rested his chin on his hand, kicking his feet back and forth. Sure, he'd ran like a little kid—but hell, he <em>really<em> didn't want to see Zack and Angeal _in the act_. Not that he was homophobic or anything—definitely not. He thought the General was amazing.

'_He probably thinks I'm a whimp for running._' Cloud realized, slamming his forehead down into his book with a frustrated groan.

The barracks were a bit more peaceful than usual,—it being Easter weekend, and most SOLDIERs had returned home for the holiday—and Cloud was determined to drown out the bit of conversation that did drone through the building, and catch up on his book. When he had last had the chance to read, it had left off on Walter being thrown from the train, and was really interested to find out what would happen next. He pulled his blanket up over himself and started up where he left off, pushing the image of Zack's naked self to the furthest reaches of his mind.

* * *

><p>Sephiroth stared at the door, frown in place and arms crossed. He was standing in front of the door to barracks, and had been for the past—he pulled his PHS out and glanced at the time—forty-five minutes. Finally, he reached his hand for the handle, and pushed it open, ignoring the startled "sir!"s as he strode to the back corner, where Zack had said Cloud's bunk was located. He saw the familiar blonde spikes, and stepped up to the bed, hands behind his back and head cocked to the side. The cadet had headphones on, and was kicking his legs back and forth slowly as he read from a book; he seemed completely oblivious of the General standing two feet away.<p>

After casting a glance around and giving a well-measured glare at any staring cadets, he cleared his throat. "What are you reading?"

Cloud's chin slipped off of his palm, and he threw a surprised look up the silver-haired man, meeting his curious gaze with a surprised one. He yanked the headphones back and closed his book, scrambling to clamber off of his bed. "S-Sir!"

"At ease." Sephiroth replied—and was that a smile?—before holding out his hand. A small, (very) poorly wrapped box was being offered to the cadet. "It is tradition to give a gift on a holiday, correct? You have given me an egg, so I must return a gift."

The blonde blinked at the box, then shook his head and pushed it gently back towards the General. "You don't need to give gifts on Easter, sir."

Shrugging, Sephiroth placed the box on the end table, and reached into his pocket. He held out a Cadbury egg (that he had taken from Zack, because he had handed over his keycard, and he was _not_ passing up those delicious eggs) and the tiny smile grew _just_ a little. "Would you like an egg?"

He took the egg—if only to please Sephiroth, considering he wasn't huge on candy—and set it next to the box. He shifted uncomfortably for a few seconds, then pointed at the gift. "You should take that ba—"

"But I want you to have it." Sephiroth cut him off, perplexed. Hadn't Zack told him to give gifts to the ones he loved? Or was that only for Christmas? He frowned; he really wasn't cut out for holidays.

Sighing, Cloud took the box from the end table, and peeled the ribbon off of it. Looking up (and catching the enthusiasm in Sephiroth's eyes) and giving a small, shy smile, he pulled the cover off—and gawked. A pewter earring, in the shape of a lion's head stared back at him, two rubies nestled into its eyes. He toyed with the hoop that he'd had for years, then slid it out and lifted the new earring out of the box, unclasping it and slipping it into the hole. He beamed up at the General (who gave an _actual_ smile in return)—people usually didn't notice his pierced ear; even _Zack_ hadn't noticed it until two _months_ after meeting him.

"Thank you, sir." He murmured, then frowned, running his finger over the earring. "Sir, I didn't get you anything…"

Sephiroth studied the floor as though it was the most interesting thing on the planet. "Well," he started slowly, "It has been brought to my attention by a rather rambunctious 1st class that a holiday known as 'Easter' takes place tomorrow." He paused and met Cloud's innocent blue eyes. "Would you like to join me?"

Blue eyes widened considerably, and Cloud couldn't help the wide smile that spread across his face—it almost _hurt_, actually, he was smiling so wide. He had been positive he'd spend the day alone in the barracks, because Angeal had asked Zack if he'd like to go to a rather expensive restaurant for Easter dinner. He nodded enthusiastically, climbing off the bed—and tripping very gracefully. "Absolutely, sir."

A keycard was pulled from Sephiroth's pocket and held out. "My room is 204, you can stop by whenever—and Cloud?"

Cloud took the keycard, clutching it tightly in his hand and staring at it in awe. He had _The_ Sephiroth's key! "S-Sir?"

"My name is _Sephiroth_, not 'sir'." Came the reply, followed by a very light chuckle. With a firm wave, he turned and made his way back through the barracks. He nearly skipped into the elevator—much to the surprise of Tseng, who was wearing some rather odd looking ears upon his head, and was accompanied by a cackling Reno—and proceeded down the hallway once the doors opened on the SOLDIER's apartment floor and threw open Angeal's apartment door as soon as he got to it.

And was not surprised in the least when Zack was still naked.

"Zackary, you may have your keycard back. I took your eggs." Sephiroth said, then stuck his tongue out childishly, tossed the key onto the table, and slammed the door behind him.

Zack, face flushed and pressed tightly against Angeal's naked body, smiled goofily at his mentor and lover. "I think we found a holiday he actually likes."

* * *

><p><strong>I apparently started writing this <em>two months<em> ago. Just found it today, so I scrambled to get it done, haha. Happy Easter!**


End file.
